Domestic Violence Act

This is good news for us. Thank you Renukaji. but i saw some men are already active and started to post aginst us here.

http://dvact.awardspace.com/

Please do something. This law should not be changed.

Sunita

5 Questions a Man should Never ask his Woman

5 questions a man should never ask his woman - for you never know what she might make of it

Let's face it, women have the ability to read much more into a question than is intended. For instance, a guy asks what the time is, and she hears, "I'm bored, I want to leave, I wonder if this relationship is working for me, I think I may be able to escape in the next few minutes, I wonder what I am doing here?" He wanted to know what the time was, because he needs to call up his client and fix up the meeting for the following day.

So what do the following questions mean to women?

Are you going to take long?
She hears : I am waiting for you outside while you are busy packing the baby's bag, sorting out the dog, wrapping the birthday present, dealing with YOUR mother's phonecall and locking the house. What is taking you so long?

Why does this question irritate women?
This question merely reveals the partner’s complete lack of understanding about what it takes to get ready to go on the road. And this is what makes women angry. Leave it to the man in your life, and you will arrive at the party without a present, without clean nappies for the baby, and, to top it all, a call from your neighbours telling you that your house has been broken into.

Don't you think you should start running again?
She hears : You are getting fat and I think it is because you are not getting enough exercise. Pick up two more kilos and I am out of here.

Why does this question irritate women?
 It makes them feel that they are being prescribed to on how they should look, what they should wear in order to be found acceptable. Men just don't understand that many women deal with PMS, baby blues or the difficult boss and bitchy colleagues by eating a second slice of chocolate cake, followed by a cream caramel, rum 'n raisin ice cream and rounded off with a gulab jamun.

What's for dinner?
She hears: Your place is in the kitchen. I don't care if you work a full day like I do, dinner is your responsibility and I am hungry.

Why does this question irritate women?
It makes them feel as if the bulk of the household responsibilities is still theirs, even if they work fulltime or earn more than their husbands. Especially if they shopped for the food, cooked yesterday and did the washing of clothes thrice in the last one week.

What was your previous boyfriend like?
She hears: I don't like the thought of your being with anyone else, even if I didn't know you then. I really want to hear that he was a right royal jerk, useless in bed, couldn't get himself a good job and stay, and was generally disliked by all your family and friends.

Why does this question irritate women?
It makes them feel cornered - previous boyfriends are actually private territory and have nothing to do with present relationships. When women are hesitant to discuss previous relationships, men often react as if they are somehow being excluded and as if the woman has something to hide. We all have secrets and private things about which we do not wish to talk to anyone.

Who was that you were talking to?
She hears: I don't trust you. I don't like you talking to other men. You're mine, mine, mine and don't you forget it. How much did that smile really mean?

Why does this question irritate women?
It makes them feel as if they are being treated like possessions and not human beings. Everyone needs friends and women certainly do not want to sleep with every man they smile at. Heavens, that would even include that ugly 40-year-old doodh-wala who wakes them up every morning.

Mumbai Mirror
Jan 12, 2006

Interpol notice in dowry case

MUMBAI: A 27-year-old IT professional Abhijeet Khatav along with his parents, who are based in Sydney and are of Australian nationality, have been listed by the Interpol as wanted for demanding dowry from an Indian.

This is probably the first case where an Interpol notice has been issued in a dowry case, city police said.

Usually, a red-corner notice is issued against those accused in crimes like drug trafficking, bomb blasts, hijacking, child sexual abuse, terrorist activities, illegal remittance of foreign exchange, etc.

The request for a red-corner notice was issued on the basis of a complaint filed with the Borivli police station. Interpol is expected to issue a request to the Australian police for their extradition.

Kamal Bansode, police inspector attached to Borivli police station, said the complainant, Sapna (name changed), has named husband, Abhijeet, father-in-law Suresh Khatav (57), and mother-in-law Chhaya (55).

In her complaint, Sapna said that her husband, who works as Credit Officer with M/s Haier Electricals in Sydney, had demanded Rs 5 lakh as dowry after the marriage.

She further alleged that her mother-in-law Chhaya had taken away her jewellery worth Rs 85,000, while Abhijeet had cast aspersions on her integrity.

"Abhijeet's uncle, Dashrath, had gone to meet relatives in Kolhapur, where he saw Sapna for the first time.

As the Khatavs had asked him to look for a suitable girl for Abhijeet, he recommended her name for Abhijeet to his brother," said inspector Bansode.

Abhijeet and Sapna met each other through video conferencing for the first time. They married on December 5, 2003, after which the couple went to Goa for a honeymoon. Within a week of the wedding, Abhijeet allegedly told her that he suspected her character.

He allegedly also demanded Rs 5 lakh as dowry. When she approached police, Abhijeet apologised and promised that he would send a visa for her once he reached Australia.

Months after Abhijeet and his family left for Australia, she received a letter from the Australian embassy, informing her that a visa could not issued to her as her husband had told Australian officials that the marriage would be annulled soon.

It was then that Sapna approached the Borivli police and lodged a complaint against Abhijeet and his parents on May 21, 2004.

The Borivili metropolitan magistrate on July 21 last year issued non-bailable warrants against the three accused.

Later, the extradition cell of the city crime branch took charge and sent a request to the CBI to issue a red-corner notice against the three accused.

Sapna who continued with her education in the meanwhile stays with her parents in Kolhapur.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1344600.cms

7 years jail for a 25 year old man for NOT marrying a girl

Divorced Christian woman gets Rs 50 lakh package

Mumbai, Dec 7: IN A landmark ruling that recognises a woman's right along with her adult daughters to the matrimonial home even after divorce, the Bombay High Court has awarded a package of Rs 50 lakh to Madhavi Dudani and her two daughters. The package, the largest to be awarded to children of litigants, according to Advocate Neelima Datta, came after 14 years of a hard-fought legal battle.

Justices H.L. Gokhale and R.S. Dalvi's order on November 25 is a milestone on another crucial front: Madhavi was born a Christian but was married as per Hindu Vedic rites. And though Ramesh Dudani, her former husband, argued that the marriage was null and void since she was a Christian at the time of marriage and Section 2 of the Hindu Marriage Act says that marriage under that provision can only be between two Hindus, the marriage was held to be valid.

Dudani, a businessman, has been ordered to buy a self-contained flat of at least 600 sq ft in Andheri (W) or Juhu Vile Parle "in a good housing society" in the name of Madhavi and their two daughters by April-end 2006. In case he can't, he shall deposit an amount of Rs 30 lakh in court. He also has to deposit Rs 10 lakh each in the name of his two daughters, Richa and Hritu, in RBI bonds for six years and hand over the bonds to them by the April-end 2006.

The court has also ordered that Dudani can't sell or part with his bungalow in Indu Park Cooperative Housing Society in Four Bungalows, Andheri.

This amount of Rs 50 lakh is therefore secured by creating a charge on this property. In case he fails to buy a house or deposit the Rs 30 lakh and invest in bonds, Madhavi can get possession of the first floor of the bungalow in lieu of the flat. However, Madhavi consented to Dudani's proposal to provide a guarantee from a nationalised bank for Rs 50 lakh to the Registrar General of the HC in lieu of the charge on the bungalow.

Madhavi (formerly Magdalene Periera) married Dudani (a divorcee) in 1983 in a temple before several guests and her parents. This was followed by a church ceremony. After a decade together, Madhavi filed a petition in the Family Court asking for judicial separation, maintenance for herself and their daughters and partitioning the matrimonial home as she had been thrown out. The Family Court held that both petitions were outside its jurisdiction but that since Madhavi was unable to recite a single Hindu shloka or mantra and she only participated in but did not perform poojas or havans, the marriage was invalid. Madhavi appealed against this in the high court.

The deal

HC awarded Rs 50 lakh package to a man's ex-wife and two daughters, part of which is for a home for them

The court held the 1983 marriage valid though it was conducted as per Hindu Marriage Act and the bride was Christian

HT

http://www.mangalorean.com/news.php?newsid=21029&newstype=local

Man sues ex-wife, police and witnesses

CHANDIGARH: For Kuldip Babbar who fought a five-year long legal battle in courts to prove his innocence, it's payback time.

After a local court acquitted him and his family of all charges of dowry harassment last year, Kuldip Babbar, 42, has now moved court against the UT police, his former wife and 16 other witnesses seeking damages worth Rs 2 crore (Rs 50 lakh each for his aged father, two sisters and himself) for defaming and falsely implicating him and putting his family through a harrowing time for more than five years.

Babbar has also sited mental harassment, loss of livelihood and income and expenditure incurred while defending the 'malicious prosecution' as reasons for seeking the damages.

Admitting the petition, Civil Judge (Senior Division) RK Bhankar issued notices to the UT IG, SSP, SHO (Sector 19 police station), Reena and other defendants, summoning them for appearance in court on February 14, 2006.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1321347.cms

http://498a.org

I found a funniest site belong to some Indian men group.

http://www.498a.org

i do not know what they they trying to prove it by this funniest name 498A.

After all its mens world.

Sunita

P I L Against Dowry Prohibition Act (IPC-498A)

By accident i found a public Interest litigation on one of the men support group site

http://mynation.net/pil/pil.php

These men trying to file a PIL, against ONLY women support law against DOWRY.

these men trying to scrap this 498A. This law is scraped then no women is safe, or we cann`t trap men with any other law.

so i call all women and make sure at any cost this Law will stay.

Sunita.

NCW says no to dilution of anti-dowry law

NCW says no to dilution of anti-dowry law
 
AASHA KHOSA         


Posted online: Friday, November 25, 2005 at 0308 hours IST



NEW DELHI, NOVEMBER 24: The National Commission for Women (NCW) and
womens' groups have again rejected suggestions to dilute the anti-
dowry law, saying it would be an insult to thousands of women who
are killed by greedy in-laws.

The Commission, which kicked off consultations for reviewing the
Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, rather asserted that the law needs to
be made more stringent.



Justice Malimath in his report on review of the criminal justice
system had suggested that Section 498A be made bailable and non-
compoundable as it was being misused too.

``Demands are made from the woman's family by in-laws for years
after the marriage and this does not constitute dowry under existing
laws,'' NCW chairperson Girija Vyas said.

``For this reason the NCW wants that the very definition of dowry be
widened.''

The consultations were attended by chairpersons of all the state
women commissions, directors-general of police, and NGOs engaged in
ensuring women their rights.

``The meeting rejected, in one voice, the suggestion to make bride-
burning a bailable and non-compoundable crime,'' Vyas told the
Express. ``In fact, we are doubly sure now that Section 498A is the
only weapon to avenge the killing of women for dowry.''

Speakers at the meeting said, ``Which law is immune to being
misused, and why target a pro-women legislation?''

However, Vyas said the government could streamline the
implementation of dowry laws to minimise misuse. Vyas said that even
today, ``the bulk of criminal cases pertaining to women are about
dowry''.

The key points raised at the meeting:

• Massive overhauling of anti-dowry laws to address to the changing
times where greedy in-laws have found new ways to circumvent
existing laws

• Members of legislatures, and public servants should be made to
sign a mandatory declaration that they have not asked for dowry at
the time of their of children's marriage

• Men and women holding public offices should conduct marriages
without vulgar display of wealth

• A woman who has slapped charges of dowry harassment on her in-laws
should be free to go to court where her parents reside

• Strict guidelines should be issued to the police for investigation
cases of dowry deaths on the lines of one existing for custodial
deaths.
http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=82654

Drunk women can’t cry rape

Women have been warned that binge drinking could cost them the right to complain of being raped.
   “Drunken consent is still consent,” a jury was told as the prosecution abandoned a rape trial involving a drama student and a security guard.
   The guard, a complete stranger, had sex with the 21-year-old woman while she was lying unconscious in a corridor outside her flat in a university hall of residence.
   She was adamant she had not consented, telling Swansea Crown Court: “If I had wanted to sleep with him I would have taken the few steps to my bedroom.”
   But because she had lost consciousness and could not even remember having intercourse, prosecutor Huw Rees said the case against 20-year-old Ryairi Dougal had to be halted. The judge, Justice Roderick Evans, said he agreed with the prosecution and instructed the jury to return a verdict of not guilty “even if you don’t agree.”
   The woman, 21, had said she drank “small vodkas” and a glass of wine while getting ready for a party at the arts centre of Aberystwyth University, in west Wales.
   After posing for photographs with fellow students and lecturers on the steps outside the centre she went to the top floor and the party.
   After just one glass of wine she began to feel unwell and headed for the toilets, where she slipped over. By now she felt “more drunk than ever before in my life.”
   She told the jury: “My dress was in a state and I wanted to leave. I went onto a patio for some fresh air. I was losing focus and very dizzy.” A female member of staff said she would find someone to walk her the short distance home and came back with Dougal, also a student who was working that night as a guard.
   The pair walked to her block of flats. She said she could not remember climbing the stairs, but could recall fumbling for her keys outside the door to her bedsit.
   There was little dispute about what happened next. Dougal, from County Donegal, Northern Ireland, had sexual intercourse with her in the corridor.
   The woman said she had passed out but came round briefly to be aware that “something was happening but I didn’t know what.” She lost consciousness again.
   Later, after Dougal had left, she went to sleep on top of books left on her bed. Dally Mail, London

http://epaperdaily.timesofindia.com/Daily/skins/TOI/navigator.asp?Daily=CAP&login=satveerd

Parents accused of selling teenage girl

New Delhi, November 20
A teenaged girl has accused her parents of selling her to a man for Rs 35,000 in the guise of marriage. A court in the Capital has given the custody of the girl to a destitutes’ home here disregarding her father’s pleas for her custody.

The girl, now lodged in Nirmal Chayya here, told the court that she was taken to Patna and sold to a middle-aged man in the name of marriage, her counsel Shalini Saxena alleged.

However, her parents have contended that she had eloped with a neighbour. They also contradicted her claim that she was an illiterate.

In fact a month after the said “marriage” she escaped from the man and reached her parents home in East Delhi where they refused to take her in, the counsel alleged. Angered by her own parents’ refusal, the girl stormed out of her home.

“I don’t want to see my parents, who had at first sold me and later connived to send me back to my unhappiness,” the counsel quoted the girl as having told the court.

A missing report was filed on the November 12 by her parents at Anand Vihar police station. On coming to know of it, the girl surrendered in court on her counsel’s advice.

“She came to me and told me that she wanted a lady lawyer to tell the court her side of the story,” her counsel said. According to the counsel, the girl told the court that she was 18 years.

When the court asked her to produce documentary proof of her age, the victim stated that “no one keeps records of births in our village in Bihar,” the counsel added.

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2005/20051121/delhi.htm#4

Rape? In UK, they blame it on women

A third of people in the UK believe a woman is partially or completely to blame for being raped if she has behaved in a flirtatious manner, according to ‘shocking’ research.
   More than a quarter also believe a woman is at least partly responsible for being raped if she wears sexy or revealing clothing, or is drunk, the ICM study found.
   One in five thinks a woman is partly to blame if it is known she has many sexual partners, while more than a third believe she is responsible to some degree if she has clearly failed to say ‘no’ to the man.
   In each of these scenarios a slightly greater proportion of men than women held these views — except when it came to being drunk, when it was equal. In fact, more women (5%) than men (3%) thought a woman was ‘totally responsible’ for being raped if she was intoxicated.
   Support groups described the findings as ‘alarming’ and ‘appalling’.
   The national charity Victim Support urged criminal justice professionals and healthcare workers to “consider how best to educate Bijit Kundu people about the terrible impact of rape, with a view to changing these attitudes.” The opinion poll, commissioned by Amnesty International, also revealed that the vast majority of the British population has no idea how many women are raped every year in the UK.
Almost all, 96%, of respondents said they either did not know the true extent of rape or thought it was far lower than the true figure. Only 4% even thought the number of women raped exceeded 10,000. The number of recorded rapes in 2004-05 was more than 12,000 and the 2001 British Crime S u r ve y estimated that just 15% of rapes come to the attention of the police.
Amnesty International UK director Kate Allen said the poll, part of its Stop Violence Against Women campaign, had uncovered ‘disturbing attitudes’.
She said: “It is shocking that so many people will lay the blame for being raped at the feet of women themselves and the government must launch a new drive to counteract this sexist ‘blame culture’.”

Daily Mail, London

http://epaperdaily.timesofindia.com/Daily/skins/TOI/navigator.asp?Daily=CAP&login=satveerd

Indian women has NO rights

Unfaithfully yours - Indian women

Women — married ones at least — are getting frisky in Mumbai: according to the Bandra family court, while in 1995 “adulterous” women were responsible for divorces in every fifth case, now they are involved in one in every third case. What’s more, a detailed analysis of case files also reveals that indulging in not one but multiple extra-marital affairs is becoming common.

There’s also data to prove that marriages are getting more fragile. These days, one out of three marriages break up due to infidelity. In 1995, this number was one in seven.

Counsellors in the family court, who handle roughly 400 cases each a year, believe changes in social values are responsible for this trend. “Couples are now far more impatient. If thing are not working out in their marriage, they don’t hesitate to look outside,” says Madhavi Desai, a family court counsellor. Women have also become more conscious of their sexual needs and are comfortable getting into a “better relationship”.

In 2004, 1,122 of a total of 3,400 divorce cases were filed due to adultery; women constituted 33 per cent. Of the 2,055 divorce cases filed in 1995, 308 were due to adultery of which unfaithful women comprised 20 per cent. This trend is not restricted to any particular class — but is more prevalent in upper socio-economic classes.

Time spent at work is also a contributor to the rise in adultery, with people developing closer bonds with colleagues. “Sharing a good professional vibe with a colleague of the opposite sex is usually how an extra-marital affair begins,” says marriage counsellor Rajan Bhonsle.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1551427,000600010004.htm

Indian men are Affraid of us

I found this BLOG somewhere on net written by someone, ofcourse some indian man,

Now we know these men are Affraid of us. they do not tolerate our growth, government support for indian women.

As per them Feminism....is

Feminism means Whole Sale Free Lincence of Adultrity Relationship.

Feminism means Whole Sale Free Lincence to grab the Husband Money by Legal Terrorism .

Feminism Means Whole Sale Free Lincence for Killing the Child .

Feminisam Means Whole Sale Free Lincence for refuse to give the Child Mother Milk .

Feminism menas forcing a Child to Grow under Single parenting System .

Feminisam means Elder abuse – sending old age , sick Parents out of house .

Feminism means sending Child and Pregent Sister to the jail without any Investigation .

Feminism means to make the Institution of Marriage to a legal Postitution ( Live in relationshp )

Feminism means to hide the actual truth . … like that a lot more are there!!.

I think now they relaise our strength.

To all indian men, just wait and watch what we are going to do.

Biased Judgement Against women

Now, husband is entitled to get maintenance

November 17, 2005 19:18 IST


A husband who is unable to support himself is entitled to get
maintenance from his earning wife during the proceedings of the
matrimonial dispute, the Allahabad high court ruled on Thursday.

On a petition filed by one Santosh Kumar Gupta seeking maintenance
from his working wife on the ground that his income was too meagre to
enable him to maintain himself, the Lucknow bench of the court
recently ruled that the provision of interim maintenance during
proceedings of the matrimonial disputes was applicable to both the
spouses.

Also read: Hope for victimised husbands
The single-judge Bench headed by Justice D P Singh directed the wife
to pay Rs 2,000 per month to Kumar, an employee in the state owned
Uptron Corporation, which had been declared a sick unit following
which the petitioner was getting only Rs 1,000 per month.

His wife, who works in a bank and draws a salary of Rs 13,000 per
month, had filed the divorce petition against him in a family court.

Harassed by wife? Contact the men's cell
The husband also filed an application before the court seeking
direction to the wife to pay him maintenance and litigation expenses.

The family court, however, rejected the husband's application.

http://in.rediff.com/news/2005/nov/17hus.htm

Woman convicted of rape

In a landmark case a 23-year-old woman has been convicted by a Bergen court for the rape of a 31-year-old man.

Some Men Websites Against Women.

There is mass propaganda is going on against women world over, these men are just jelous about Feminism and Women Freedom

We women have to beware of these sites.

http://www.fathersforlife.org
http://www.angryharry.com
http://www.mensactivism.org

http://www.mynation.net
http://www.saveindianfamily.com
http://www.saveindianfamily.org
http://dowry-law-misuse.tripod.com
http://misuseof498a.clawz.com
http://victims-of-law.blogspot.com

Sunita

Indian men are Against Women FREEDOM

Wife’s Lib makes Indian divorce soar
Amrit Dhillon, New Delhi
 
 
 
WHEN Anil Srivastav, a financier, faced his wife in a New Delhi court yesterday for the final hearing to end their seven-year marriage, he knew where to pin the blame for the breakdown: women’s liberation.
His wife, Anjali, 26, is a marketing executive who often works until late at night and travels for her job. Anil, 28, says he had no problem with her career but wanted her to come home earlier to spend time with their six-year-old son. What also rankled was her reluctance to perform puja (prayers) and wear a sari when with older members of his family.

 
 
“I don’t mind if she roams around in shorts or jeans when we’re with friends, but I expected her to wear traditional clothes in front of my parents,” he said. “Whenever I asked her to follow any Indian tradition, she’d ask, ‘Why?’ I’m all for working women and I know society is changing, but we have to preserve our culture.”

Indian marriage is in crisis. More and more young couples like the Srivastavs are getting divorced. Although no reliable national statistics are available, the number of divorces within the first year of marriage have risen by around 30% since 2000. Seven out of 10 involve couples aged 25 to 35.

These statistics are all the more shocking considering Indian society’s obsession with marriage. Weddings, which often last for days, are both highly expensive and lavish by western standards.

Traditionally to be unmarried was to be a circus freak, a divorced man was a curiosity and a divorcée was viewed as a painted Jezebel. But such perceptions are changing, even though some 95% of marriages remain arranged.

For centuries Indian women were expected to “adjust” to their husbands — a classic euphemism meaning a bride must bend to the will of her husband and in-laws and endure virtually anything short of insanity or depravity. But young, educated, urban women lack their mothers’ docility.

The new woman is smart, has an MBA, wears designer clothes, drives herself around town and sips chardonnay in funky bars. Increasingly economically independent, she is no longer prepared to remain in an unhappy marriage.

“Women are driving the change. They are the ones questioning the old patterns and demanding change, while Indian men still want them to follow some 16th-century model of marital behaviour,” says Shobhaa De, a former “bonkbuster” author whose marriage manual, Spouse: The Truth About Marriage, is soaring up the bestsellers list.

A short, light, breezy read aimed at the middle classes, Spouse has sold 15,000 copies in a week. De, who claims to have been “blown away” by the book’s success, says: “Indian couples are confused and bewildered. With women changing so radically, the men are really struggling to adapt.”

The onus, according to De, is on men to change. “They have to realise that women no longer need marriage as a security blanket or as a meal ticket,” she said. “Women can pay their own way, pay their own bills. What they want now from marriage is respect and equality.”

Take Alisha Kapoor, 32, who has divorced her husband after four years of marriage because she considers they are temperamentally incompatible and want different things out of life.

“I like stability and a settled life,” she said. “His lifestyle is wild and anarchic and we just couldn’t get along. My parents supported me. My mother told me if I was unhappy I should get out while I was still young.”

Many males appear reluctant to move with the times. In a recent survey of men in 11 cities, 72% said they expected their brides to be virgins. Asked if they would marry a woman who admitted to having had pre-marital sex, 77% said “No”.

Subhashini Ali, a women’s rights activist, accuses men of trying to have the best of both worlds: “It suits them to continue with the old ways. They want their wives to work because they need a second income for a glamorous lifestyle, but they hate it when she comes home late from the office, puts her career first or doesn’t grovel in front of her mother-in-law.”

It is not that Indian women are abandoning all traditional notions. Most women still accept that they will probably live with their in-laws; and many would still not dream of eating before first serving their husbands. Some 78% of young people polled in a survey last year said it was “very important” for their spouses to be accepted by their families.

The question is how adept will Indian men be at the kind of “adjusting” that used to be expected of women. “It’s going to very difficult,” says De. “They have been mollycoddled for centuries by their mothers and wives. But this is their wake-up call.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-1502387,00.html

Biased Media Report against women.

http://dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=8337&CatID=1

The double-edged rape-ier

Seema Kamdar
Friday, November 04, 2005  00:37 IST

One more Step towards Women Liberation

'Working' towards a divorce?

Ushma Sanghani

[ Tuesday, August 09, 2005 10:48:02 pmTIMES NEWS NETWORK ]

A recent study reveals that women are opting for divorce if they feel they are in an untenable situation. And they are happier with the decision. Hyderabad Times finds out more...

Divorce is a painful and unhappy experience for both parties involved. That said, it is also true that where in the past the majority of women would bear it, today they are asserting themselves. It is, therefore, not surprising that a recent survey conducted by European Sociological Review has found it's the working women who have a higher chance of divorce than homemakers. Having fought at workplace for survival, growth and identity, isn't it natural that these women have higher expectations from both their partners and themselves?

Psychiatrist Shakila Naidu throws some light on the trend. "Financial independence is the biggest difference between the two groups of women. Financial dependence has been linked to submissive attitudes. Also, there was a certain amount of social stigma attached to those who rightfully asked to be acknowledged as individuals. Nowadays, the girl's family encourages her to end a meaningless or painful relationship, as a support system is already in place," she explains.

However, some argue that since the working-woman is on a financially sound footing and is more confident and satisfied – professionally – shouldn't they be more understanding about various life situations? Says Shakila Naidu, "Sometimes, the contrast between the woman's smooth professional life and compromiseridden personal life is too much. This leads to a sense of dissonance, which dissipates only once things get resolved either ways. There is a sense of loss but for this woman any compromise on the personal front would be anathema."

Marriage counsellor Kamlakar validates the findings of the study saying, "Most couples who come for marriage counselling are working couples." He feels that men, too, find themselves in a dilemma. "In keeping with the times, men want a smart working wife. On the other hand, the innate archetype is still alive and they also desire to be revered and waited upon by their wives." The best way to deal with the scenario, according to Kamlakar, is to try and figure out the expectations of both parties and be comfortable with each other before tying the knot.

In the 'honeymoon' period, couples tend to camouflage any feeling of unease or discomfort with one another. But soon, the rose-tinted glasses come off, and reality bites as the couple starts to fight over money and property. Does that mean the working-woman is materialistic? Another recent study suggests that post divorce, 18 per cent of men are unhappy but only 14 per cent of divorced women feel the same. Says Kamlakar, putting things into perspective, "It probably means that women are emotionally stronger. While working-women get over their feelings of dependence, men, owing to years of 'returning home to hearth and wife,' find it difficult to break clichés. As a result, even post divorce it's the men who find it harder to adjust."

Shakila feels that parents are increasingly encouraging their daughters to challenge stereotypes and take up different roles and occupations. "Independence training starts young," she says.

Milind Gokhale, an advocate, feels the law needs to change with times, "Most of the laws were suited to the era they were framed in. But today women have become smarter and are misusing the law against men. A woman can file a case of harassment against a man and action is taken immediately."

So, while alimony issues are still prickly with men claiming that women get away with a preferential treatment be it in terms of law enforcement or alimony, women are justifying the trend as both liberating and long overdue.
hyderabadtimes@indiatimes.com

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1196112.cms

Replace Rape with sexual assault in IPC

http://www.indianexpress.com/print.php?content_id=81110

National Network

Replace rape with sexual assault in IPC, says NCW

Meeting: Word ‘rape’ is derogatory to women, say members

AASHA KHOSA

NEW DELHI, OCTOBER 30 Replace the word ‘‘rape’’ with ‘‘sexual assault’’ in various sections of the Indian Penal Code (IPC). This was a major recommendation made at a meeting, sponsored by the National Commission for Women (NCW), held here yesterday to finalise the review of ‘‘rape laws’’. Women activists at the meeting said the word ‘‘rape’’ was derogatory to women. The Home Minister, and the police chiefs of all the states yesterday endorsed the recommendations drafted by the NCW. The recommendations, considered okayed, would be sent to the Centre for making amendments to the relevant laws. Home Minister Shivraj Patil had shown interest in the draft prepared by the NCW in consultation with women’s groups. As such, there is no single law to deal with this ghastly crime against women in India, and cases are dealt under various sections of the law. But a representative of the National Commission for Scheduled Castes told the conference that ‘‘making changes in the IPC would not make any difference and women’s groups should instead try for a specific bill on the lines of laws meant for protecting SCs and STs, to deal with atrocities on women.’’ The key changes suggested by the NCW are: • The definition of rape should be widened and not be restricted to vaginal penetration. One suggestion was that oral and anal penetration, or even body contact, should be considered ‘‘sexual assault.’’ • Sexual assault should be punishable with a minimum of 10 years in prison and a maximum of life term. • The age factor should be looked into more carefully in abduction-cum-rape cases as existing law is very often misused by rapists. • Buying sexual favours (from sex-workers) should also be considered sexual assault. • Video and audio recordings of the victim’s statement should be admitted in court as evidence to save her from embarrassing ‘‘cross examinations.’’ • Investigation and trial of the victim should be a time-bound affair and public servants held accountable for any lapse. However, a grey area of the proposed changes was a clause dealing with homosexuals. In India, homosexuality is illegal and many participants of the meeting questioned a recommendation (dropping section 377 of the IPC) that would make it legal. But NCW chairperson Girija Vyas said that ‘‘this was not intended’’ and she would look into it before forwarding the recommendations.

We have the law. To what effect?

NIRMALA SITHARAMAN

Parliament has passed the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Bill. We can pat ourselves that as a nation we have risen to ‘protect’ women, this time from domestic violence. However, can the legislation in the present form offer any extra protection to women?

The worst form of harassment is the condition which some women are subjected to in their homes. In our country, a woman enters a marital home leaving her maternal household. Most Indian women are conditioned “to enter and adjust” to this new surrounding. Many others face difficulties. It is here that they need protection. The abuse a woman undergoes — physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and economic — are rightly brought under the rubric of “domestic violence.” But the debate is about how effective, in practice, will be the protection envisaged by this bill.