Stings of 21st Century Women

History is an interesting phenomenon. It says so many things yet reveals a little. As I am writing this piece, it is going down in history with every word I write, most probably to be inundated deep into the sea of obscurity. If at all it gets revealed, like many other lost truths, it will bear the interpretation of the discoverer. Very soon 21^st century would be history, and would most likely be remembered for progress India has made in terms of technology, economic power, military power, intellectual capital and WOMEN EMPOWERMENT. Yes, I am talking about women empowerment, the so-called biggest achievement of modern times, yet the biggest malaise to Indian Family. I am fortunate to be born in 21^st century, fortunate to be witness to the stark truth that would most likely be relegated to obscurity, revealed only to be twisted and projected to suit oblique interests. Still, I consider myself fortunate, because I can blog the truth in the hope someone, someday, sometime in future might stumble upon the truth written by a common man, for the history has been mostly documented by the state, the statesmen, the king, the ruler, the scholar, the traveler but hardly by the common man. This is an attempt to touch upon the hard truth of “Destruction of Indian Family” perpetrated by so called “empowered women - empowered to destruct”, the biggest achievement yet one of the biggest failure.

I am fortunate to be a part of “Save Indian Family” fraternity which today boasts of 600+ members (several thousands of related members). I am also fortunate to understand, through these 600+ brothers, the dynamics of 21^st century Indian Family, the truth that the “History” would conveniently hide it under half lies, half truth as it has done over ages by projecting women as victims and men as villains. Through my eyes and the experience of 600+ brothers, I would like to list down the traits of a typical “empowered 21^st century wife” (I am talking about 21^st century because I am witness to it, I won’t be surprised if this is the story of the untold history).

Typical Traits of an urban woman in most of the improvident marriages:

1.      Highly Materialistic: You are a money-minting machine for her. You are required to satiate her materialistic desires no matter how much or how little you earn.

2.      Marriage is a picnic: Don’t dare to tell her the responsibilities of ‘HER’ home. She is on a picnic.

3.      Nagging: Continuous nagging and cribbing to meet her unreasonable demands. Well nagging is a soft term, it invariably extends to abuses, insults, humiliations

4.      Her way is the only way: She is ‘empowered’ to do all the rights as well as wrongs. All wrongs are her right.

5.      Blame Game: Would put the blame of every undesirable and unpleasant happening on you and your family.

6.      Elder Abuse: Her family is of utmost importance. No respect for your parents and relatives. They are disposable.

7.      Big Mouth: Has a big mouth, wouldn’t tire of praising herself, wouldn’t tire of finding faults in others especially you and your family. Would resort to abuses invectives on a slight pretext.

8.      Adultery: She is ‘empowered’ to indulge in extra marital affairs, after all she is just satisfying has physical and emotional needs outside marriage.

9.      Hypocrisy: Master liar, master conspirator. Can backstab you anytime, time and again.

10.  Blackmailing: Would blackmail you using typical threats of leaving you, threats of causing physical harm to herself and apportioning the blame on you (she is fully aware of one sidedness of Indian legal system) or any other threats that would put you on defensive.

11. Unreceptive: Highly unreceptive to dialogues to resolve the issues. Reasoning with her is like banging your head against the wall.

Stings of ‘empowered’ women having some or all of the above traits

1.      Constant abuse, violent outbursts

2.      Severance of your relationship with your parents

4.      Stuttered/doomed Career.

5.      Financial damage in terms of alimony or SOWRY

6.      MOTHER OF ALL STINGS: 498 A. Typical effect is jail to you, or to your parents & relatives. You would be wondering what you did to attract this curse on you.

IPC 498 A has become the ultimate weapon in the hands of these women to wreak havoc on your life and its spreading like wild fire with little or no attempt from the people’ in power to control it. The chances are it will be remembered in history as a brave and successful attempt by the government to provide protection to women, completely concealing the true wrath of this law.

Anyways, history would speak its own story, but it should not stop us from taking due care of our present. Typically, what should you do if trapped with such women? Legally there is hardly any provision to seek relief. You can join ‘Save Indian Family’ brotherhood, one of the fastest growing self-help group with collective experience of thousands of years, that would help you, guide you and advise you on how to handle the stings of ‘empowered 21st women’.

Who knows we may even re-write the history?

Disclaimer: The views expressed are entirely writer’s personal views.

9:04 AM - Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - comments {0} - post comment

ADULTERATED LAW

The recent India Today article (A Byte Of The Apple) on Female extra-marital affairs is a good reflection of the 21^st century Indian societal trends. The article portrays that, now economically independent Indian women are not averse to indulging in extra-marital affairs. This trend is regarded as women becoming aware of their emotional and physical needs and they are not reluctant to seek them outside their marriage. The entire tone of the article suggests this as a progression in society. It is one of biggest hypocrisy of Indian media, society and law. While a man indulging in adultery is termed as unfaithful, a woman doing the same, is seen as seeking emotional and physical needs. Even Indian Law endorses this view (IPC 497), by imposing punishment for adulterous men while there is no punishment for women for the act of adultery….. a mere implication for abetment.

Should we believe that "Adultery is LEGAL for women while being ILLEGAL for men ?"

11:37 AM - Friday, January 6, 2006 - comments {0} - post comment

I ALWAYS KNEW IT !!!!!!!

Pressing Charges
[ Wednesday, November 30, 2005 12:00:00 am TIMES NEWS NETWORK

The country's criminal justice system is not particularly sensitive to the plight of rape victims. The bizarre case of a daughter confessing that she had falsely charged her father of rape, after the Supreme Court had awarded him a life sentence, is only going to make things worse.

In a sworn affidavit, the daughter admitted that she had framed him at the instance of her mother with whom he had strained relations.

The case will give male chauvinists, who've been claiming that rape and dowry laws are frequently misused by women, a chance to say I told you so.

But it could well be that after so many years (the case was filed in 1988) the daughter (now 31 and married) no longer wanted an ageing father to spend the rest of his life in jail. Or she may have given the affidavit under threat.

Whatever it is, the case will have a damaging effect on the victim's testimony in a rape case. All charges in future will be viewed with suspicion, and victims subjected to more gruelling interrogation.

Each time a victim appears in court, she has to relive the horrors of the crime. With the defiling of one of the most sacred relationships, rape victims are likely to encounter a less sympathetic atmosphere.

The court must do everything within its power to arrive at the truth. It would be a good idea to involve professional counsellors with the investigation who can spot the tell-tale signs of rape trauma instead of leaving the probe to insensitive policemen.

The case also raises questions about giving false evidence in court. The daughter should be tried for lying on oath and misleading the court.

Unfortunately, perjury laws in India are far too lenient which encourage people to give evidence which they later withdraw.

The maximum number of acquittals in criminal cases are on account of witnesses changing their statement or turning hostile.

The prose-cuting agencies and courts, overburdened as they are, seldom press charges of perjury against them. This needs to change.

They must be tried for perjury and brought to justice. The penalty for perjury also needs to be raised. At present it involves a jail term of up to three months and a fine of Rs 500.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1312252.cms

1.      The author alleges the country’s criminal justice system to be insensitive to rape victims without supporting his/her contention anywhere in the article. In fact, the case in question is a stark reminder to the judicial system that there could be plenty of cases, where the accused are falsely convicted. It’s the duty of the system to punish the guilty and acquit the falsely accused. and this case should be pointer that all is not right in the current practices of law and law enforcing agencies.

2.      The author thinks that it’s male chauvinist propaganda to bring into light the gross misuse of biased law like rape laws and dowry laws. One doesn’t have to be chauvinist to believe so, one only has to be mere victim. The author should take the pain to find out the realities of the society, such lose statements doesn’t augur well for the esteemed newspaper as TOI.

3.      The author also puts forward a plausible theory of victim filing the affidavit  under threat or because she doesn’t want her father to spend rest of his life in jail. Again, the author has gone overboard in stating facts and is being over imaginative. There could be many plausible theories viz. the victim never realized, her father would land up with life imprisonment, so she decided to let the court know the truth or the victim was a minor at the time of the complaint and could have easily been manipulated, now that she is mature enough, better sense may have prevailed on her. And so on. The point is such journalism is an attempt to misguide and manipulate the mass about the existing facts. There is a huge difference between views and imagination, the editor should differentiate between them.

4.      The author believes that such cases would only be damaging to the victim as in future the complaint would be viewed with suspicion. Rape is a serious crime and the guilty should be severely punished. But, more the number of false cases, more the victims complaint would be treated with suspicion. Women themselves are enemies of women, before filing a false complaint, they are least bothered about its effect on the actual victims. The law doesn’t work on assumptions, complainant has to be prepared to undergo grueling examination. It’s not always the fault of the system to prevent such heinous crimes, what precautions do the victims take to prevent it?

5.      The author suggests that the court must do everything in its power to arrive at the truth. Excellent suggestion. But, why limit it to only rape cases, it should be applied to all cases viz those falling under 498 A, 406, 304 etc.

6.      The author says that prosecuting agencies and courts are overburdened to press perjury charges on false testimonies. The court has to deal with plethora of false cases like dowry cases, 406, dowry deaths etc. Unless the false cases are curbed, the court would always be over burdened.

The irony of the article is that, the author has put the blame on the efficiency of the judicial system, which he/she may be right, but he/she has himself/herself not come out clean in projecting the incident in true light. It is another intentional attempt by the media and feminist forces to manipulate and mislead the public at large, about the realities of the society.

Do we need such biased journalism? Should there be censorship in media?

11:40 AM - Thursday, December 15, 2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Urgent need of Amendment in 498 A

IPC 498 A was enacted in 1983 to combat domestic violence prevailing in the society with the presumption that only aggrieved victim would use this section. On the contrary, right from inception, it is largely being used by unscrupulous wife/daughter-in-law for ulterior motive viz. extortion, blackmailing, harassment and settling personal vendetta. The section being non-bailable, non-compoundable and cognizant, generally leads to the arrest of accused mentioned in the FIR before any investigation. The impending arrest, the burden of proof on the accused to prove his innocence and lingering of the case to extended period of time of 4-5 years lead to ignominy and harassment which are often difficult to wipe out even on proving oneself innocent. Even a recent study on its misuse, by a women based organization (CSR), puts the misuse in the range 6-10 % which clearly indicates the problem is much severe than it is perceived to be. The following court judgments & recommendation only reiterates the fact:

1. Supreme Court has termed its misuse as unleashing of legal terrorism and have directed the legislature to taken corrective action. Supreme Court Judgement WP 141 of 2005 .
2.  Delhi HC judge Justice J.D. Kapoor has called for avoidance of arrest of the accused unless utmost necessary Just.J D Kapoor Judgement CrlM 3875/2003  
3. High Court of Karnataka’s judgment, Crl.A. no. 589 of 2003, made on 4-9-2003 (case of M.F.Saldhana & M.S. Rajendra Prasad JJ), the Judge stated that in about 45% cases prosecution is thoroughly unjustified. 
4. Recommendation of Malimath Committee to make the law bailable and compoundable. http://www.saveindianfamily.com/pages/courageofmalimath.html

In the light of above facts, this section is in an urgent need of amendment for the following reasons:

1. Legal Terrorism: The section is largely being used by wives and her parents to extort money out of improvident marriages. Most of the cases end up in out of court settlements, instead of going through the entire process of trial. It has been wrongly highlighted by women organizations that the out of court settlement is reached due to some undue pressure on actual victims. In reality, she ends up getting a huge sum of money, which was the basic motive of filing false case. No law should be used as an assassin’s weapon instead of being used as a shield for protection. 
2. Erosion of Intellectual Capital: Typically, a victim is an engineer or an MBA from reputed institution, an IT professional, an NRI or a doctor etc. i.e. a successful professional, who is economically quite well off. They are career oriented, simple people who have never been to a police station or a criminal court for wrong reasons. Criminal proceedings against them is a profound experience from shock, trauma to frustration. The prime of their career is spent in trials and court visits to prove themselves & their parents innocent. Their career is not only affected, but in many cases they end up losing their job, after all some companies take strict cognizance of criminal proceedings while the govt. employees are worst hit, as any arrest involving some minimum period result in the suspension of the falsely accused victim. Indian government, that boasts of rich intellectual capital and gives huge premium to skilled human resource, cannot afford its intellectual capital to be drained in its inefficient & biased legal system. 
3. Destroying the institution of marriage: Invariably, all false criminal cases end up in irreconcilable separation. Once the victim and his parents have been falsely involved in criminal case, reconciliation becomes out of question. Who would like to lead his life with a person, who has tried or has put her husband/in-laws in jail and has tried to or started criminal proceedings that might imprison the husband/in – laws for several years. 
4. Credibility loss of women:  Women are gradually losing their credibility because of filing of false 498 A cases. As the section says, the accused is guilty until proven innocent, women are gradually now being presumed to be unscrupulous unless proven otherwise. 
5. Genuine victims ignored: The gross misuse has led the system to address all such cases, prima facie, as false cases. This has resulted in actual victims being ignored and unattended. 

These are only some of the key reasons that call for an amendment in the act. This is highly gender biased law while men are equally, if not more, victims of domestic violence. It’s the duty of the law to provide protection to both the genders, sadly, the government has badly failed in creation of just and civil society. If this was not enough, it has released another satan, DV Bill.

Are we heading for a doomsday?

11:06 AM - Monday, November 21, 2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Are You a Victim of Legal Terrorism ?

Are you and your parents being harrassed by your wife ?

Are you and your parents threatened by your wife of being implicated in false dowry case  ?

Are you being blackmailed by your wife through legal means (i.e. false 498 A) ?

Are you and your parents fighting for justice in false 498 A case ?

If, any of the above is applicable to you, then you are a victim of Legal Terrorism.

Contact for Assistance:

092434 73794 (helpline no.)

Delhi helpline: 9810611534, 9871734980, 9911119113, 9818597141

Chandigarh helpline: 9888562582
Jaipur helpline: 09352562456
Bangalore helpline: 080-56969850, 98457 15737, 080-55334135

Mumbai helpline: 9224335577

For Details, visit:

http://www.saveindianfamily.org

http://www.asha-kiran.org

http://www.498a.org

Do you need your fellow victim brother in arms to share your predicament ?

Do you wish to be part of awareness campaign ?

Join, SAVE INDIAN FAMILY fraternity at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saveindianfamily/

7:58 AM - Friday, November 18, 2005 - comments {1} - post comment